Rev John H and the Revelations

---

First open mic I ever went to I had to come up with a name for my act. As I was fairly political back in those days I decided on “Preacher John” the compère informed me they already had a fellow going by that name, so I went with “Reverend” instead.

H used to be the initial of my second name (Ham - my stepfather was Welsh) but I reverted to my original surname (Varvatsis) a few years back. I suppose I should change it to Rev John V now but I’d been performing as a solo act for years under [H for Ham] name before forming the band.

Cynical and bemused

It’s a Cypriot name and pretty uncommon. I think it’s about the 65,000,000th most common surname in the world. Every Varvatsis on Facebook is a direct relative

Due to the content of my songs I figured it made sense not to use my real name on any of my social media. I used to have a Rev John H Facebook account but mr Zuckerberg closed that down because he figured that wasn’t my real name. Johnny Geetar got through the filter.

Potty humour and references to recreational substance use figure quite heavily in the content.  I used to be more political but in these fractious times that’s a sure fire way of pissing off half one’s audience in a random pub. So nowadays I stick to content we can all relate to.

Who do you think this (Potty humour and recreational substance use) resonates with the most? Are there people who you might "piss off" with this content? When did you change tack?  

Shortly after getting on the open mic circuit I realised songs about current affairs only had a limited shelf life. Potty humour and absurdity goes down better than political satire.  Our material is fairly mischievous and the stories told in the songs rarely end well for the narrator. These days I think it’s safer for comedians to take the piss out of themselves rather than others (another reason I shy away from political content these days). Most people can relate and while some of the lyrics are quite explicit, most people receive it in the spirit in which it was intended. I’ve only been confronted by an angry mob a few times.  

I’m a songwriter first & foremost. Several people have likened our material to Ian Dury.

Yo Momma: a 3 minute 30 second “yo momma" rant

Working at Home: Reggae song extolling the virtues of remote shirking

Dad stole my weed; about somebody’s dad stealing their weed & their dreadful revenge

Sympathy song: (based on Bob Marley's Redemption Song) a song about idiots & no sympathy  

Gonorrhoea: shameless Johnny Be Goode rip off about the narrator’s trip to the “sexual health” clinic.

(I shouldn’t have done) 2 pills: a humble brag about my sexual misadventures on a massive chemsex binge 

Charlie Brown: Trials & tribulations of a wannabe Gangsta in Home Counties suburbia. Funky, great lyrics.

Marmite: a groovy rant about looking for the marmite in a supermarket & getting maced by security guards

Words of advice: an x rated reggae number offering words of wisdom to the younger generation via a handful of short stories

(that ain’t no) Monkey (on my back: it’s a zoo); a great soul/ blues tune with some nice lines inc. “I was a hyperactive schizophrenic haemophiliac but now my blood runs thick on Valium and Prozac”

I was a child of the 2-Tone era, that was going on when I was school leaving age just before I embarked on a short & undistinguished career in the armed forces. So Madness and acts from the 2-Tone stable had an influence on me. I also enjoyed Hendrix and Frank Zappa and lots of Jazz-Funk. During my time in the army (80-82) I was a new romantic though, which didn’t go down well in the barrack room.

Both my grandfather and my uncle had long & distinguished careers as electronics technicians in the Royal Electrical & Mechanical Engineers. As I was living with my grandparents at the time I kinda got railroaded into it. It wasn’t for me though and exactly 2 years, 2 months, 3 days, 3 hrs & 25 mins after being driven through the gates of the Army Apprentice College for the first time, I walked out of them for the last time.  

It was a big part of who I was til I got married 8 years ago, and probably led me down a few interesting roads creatively and personally.  I’ve met some way out folk and found myself in situations reminiscent of those described in novels like “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”.  A lot of my material is based on my personal experiences from those times or anecdotes I’ve heard from others I met along the way.  When you’re telling people about a situation you’ve experienced and you realise they’re giving you that look like this is too fantastical and you’re making it up and you’re thinking: “I haven’t even got to the good bit yet”.  A few people have suggested I write a book about it all.

Due to a series of unfortunate events in the 90’s resulting in my house being repossessed, I ended up working for producer Martin Rushent (stranglers, altered images, human league) who was building a recording studio & nightclub on the recently demilitarised Greenham Common airbase.   The studio was built around a PC and one of the first pro-quality audio interfaces, a Session 8. This was the first time affordable high quality home recording setups were possible.  I was naturally blown away by this and very excited as I thought this would liberate the music business and the ability for artists to record, promote and market their audio and video content from their bedrooms would remove the stranglehold the corporations have held on the business since it’s inception, heralding in a golden era of artistic freedom and creativity.  Unfortunately it didn’t quite work out like that

I moved all my furniture and possessions into a vacant barrack block on the airbase.  I used an entire 12-man room on the first floor as a loft apartment. It was quite surreal as somebody was operating a paintball business on the site so I’d frequently wake up at the weekends to a full blown firefight being enacted outside my home.

In the 90’s (Wokingham, Berkshire) I was a bass player. The last project I was involved in was a very proficient funk band. We rehearsed about 4 hours, 3 nights a week.   Eventually it became quite soul destroying so I took a 3 month contract in Holland, stayed there for 3 years and joined a punk band.  When I got back from Holland [2001], I moved to Reading (8 miles from Wokingham - about an hour on a skateboard).  Been there ever since.

All 3 bands were originals bands. 

I’ve been in a few covers band but never for long. The money's ok but every gig I felt like I was dying inside. 

When I got back in 2001 I decided I wanted to put my songwriting first and be up front. I did the open mics solo until about 3 years ago and then set about forming a band.

In my 20’s I’d tell myself “you’ll have made it by the time you’re 25" then as 20 turned to 30 all the goal dates kept slipping. When I turned 40, it was like somebody flicked a switch and I realised there’s no point setting these imaginary deadlines or evaluating my worth in terms of pound notes or the achievements of others.

It was as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders - it was liberating. My guys are quite happy with aspiring to be local legends. Personally I can’t think of anything worse than touring and all that entails. I like my home comforts.

I took up Guitar at 16, mostly it has to be said in hope it might improve my prospects with girls. It didn’t. I did enjoy songwriting and being on stage though so I stuck at it. 

As a youngster I was hyper focussed on “making it” as many are but when I hit 40 I stopped caring, and started just enjoying the process, which, as I mentioned earlier, was liberating.

Until I got married 8 years ago, it was the only constant in my life.  

Before that, following some serious mental health issues bought on by work, I spent about 7 years smoking weed in a darkened room and the guitar was pretty much all that kept me going. I wrote a lot of songs back then…

There’s the old trope that’s been doing the rounds since forever that “plumbers get £200 and so should musicians” I’m more of the opinion that if your band can sell a grands worth of beer for the venue, they deserve a cut.  But turning up with 2 mates in tow and expecting that sort of money is just unrealistic. Especially in these troubled times with pubs and venues closing every week.

It doesn’t matter how good a band are. If the venue owner has to pay them out of their personal cash rather than pulling a wad out of the till, they won’t be asking you back. A lot of People need to grow up imho (in my honest opinion).

Most of our gigs have been freebies to date, although we earned a decent amount of money at a recent gig in Newbury and they will be having us back.  Fortunately my bandmates all have decent jobs and settled lives.  And to quote the harmonica player “as hobbies go it’s a lot cheaper than golf”.

I’m what’s called a technical author. I used to write end user guides and online help systems for IT software but nowadays I write mostly process and procedure documents for a facilities management outfit. Tech authoring pays the rent.